


Don't Want No Money

by ILookDaftWithOneShoe



Series: Show Me Your Teeth [5]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, I hope you enjoy your stay, M/M, bitey bites, brotherly shit, this time it's personal or something, welcome back to the SPNvengers, yeah well you know what to expect
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-20
Updated: 2013-02-12
Packaged: 2017-11-26 06:47:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/647726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ILookDaftWithOneShoe/pseuds/ILookDaftWithOneShoe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been a couple of months since Tony and Loki left Team Free Steve on the side of the road in Hoople. Then all of a sudden things are complicated again. Team Free Steve wants Loki's head on a plate, there's a rogue vamp in town committing acts of evil (who's probably Loki, truth be told), Thor wants his baby bro back, Tony wants to keep his company in the air and try and figure out what's up with Pepper, and just what is a white-eyed demon anyway?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beagle And The Fox

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, I'm back, and writing weirder stuff than ever! Sorry about the wait, I've been busy and whatnots.
> 
> And a note that will be relevant in a long while - I made a mistake in the first story. I now have retconned myself. I bow down and beg for forgiveness. But it's no longer Coulson who chased Loki out of Alaska, it's Hank Pym, because Coulson is needed in...other places. Hehe.

"Remember, just cause we've only been following one doesn't mean it doesn't have a partner." Tony warned as he and Loki headed towards the nice suburban house they'd seen a Vetala move in and out of several times in the last two days.

"Do I look like a fool?" Loki said, silver knife ready in his hand, scimitar swinging at his waist.

"Yep. When you're on your back begging. Not so much at the moment, but hey, that could change." Tony said flippantly.

"It could." Loki conceded, tugging his hat over his face to keep out the sunlight. "I hardly think now is the time, though."

When they were close enough to be audible, they shot each other a look developed from the last few months of working together; hunting time now, radio silence.

They moved with a practiced precision, Loki creeping around the side of the house to slip in through an partially open window and secure the Vetala's victims, Tony going for the front door as a distraction.

Tony rang the doorbell. A slim young woman answered, a winning smile on her face. This was the same smile Tony had seen her give while casually punching someone out and dragging them into her car. Therefore Tony didn't fall for it.

He heard Loki give the all clear, so he drew his silver knife and slammed it into the Vetala's heart. She looked angry, then surprised, then her face went blank. Hoping no one had seen him knife a seemingly innocent girl on her own doorstep, Tony snuck inside and closed the door.

Loki was untying the semi- and unconscious victims. He looked up when Tony crept in, a triumphant half-smile on his face.

Then Tony heard a noise behind him and Loki gave a cry of alarm just as the other Vetala struck out to kill his partner. Tony spun, knife in hand, but Loki got there first, crossing the room with his supernatural speed and burying his blade in her chest. Just like the other one, she collapsed pathetically to the ground.

"Thanks." Tony breathed, still a little horrified.

"Most welcome." Loki purred, wiping his blade on the curtain. "Now, let us take these poor people to a hospital."

-O.O-

Two months. Since Steve had been virginnapped, since Tony had made Loki a deal, since Clint and Natasha broke that deal, since Tony decided to save Loki's life.

Two months since Tony had realised the vampire he'd been hunting on and off for te past few years was a funny, smart, (horny) talented hunter with a psycho streak a mile long.

And, obviously, two months since they started hunting together. They worked surprisingly well, not much need for communication because their somewhat similar personalities put them on the same wavelength most of the time.

After the Vetala hunt, they were blasting down the highway, both singing along to _Back In Black_ \- Loki liked AC/DC, who knew? - in Tony's favourite car. After growing well and truly sick of Corollaine, they'd ditched the Corolla and gone for something more Tony's style, a 1975 black Chrysler Valiant that Tony had fixed up himself. Loki often felt like he was competing for Tony's affection with the bloody car.

Just then, Tony's phone started playing _War Pigs,_ contrasting with the heavy metal already playing, and he turned off the music and tossed the phone to Loki to answer.

"Greetings." Loki said smoothly.

"Tony?" A woman asked.

"No, this is his life-model decoy. Please state your name so I can decide whether or not I should throw this phone out the window." Loki said dryly.

"Put them on speaker." Tony said.

Loki fumbled with the phone until he hit the speaker button, and then the woman's voice rang out loudly in the car as she said "Hello? Tony?"

"Pepper!" Tony exclaimed brightly. "Sorry, I'm driving, and my faithful assistant isn't the most polite guy."

"Who is it? It's not Steve, so..." Pepper replied.

Loki was confused for a moment until he remembered - Virginia 'Pepper' Potts, technically Tony's personal assistant, in reality the driving force behind his company.

"Loki Laufeyson." Loki said smoothly. "I have heard much about you, Miss Potts, though it seems Tony has neglected to inform you of me."

"What? Tony, where's Steve?" Pepper said confusedly.

"Um. That's more of a face to face thing. What're you calling about?" Tony said.

"The fact that you broke your promise." Pepper said irritably.

"What promise? Pepper, if it's about that omelette again-"

"It's about how you promised to come into work at least _once_ every few months. I've got people asking where you are, why you haven't signed anything, so where are you?" Pepper said demandingly.

Loki decided he didn't like her.

"On our way to Malibu." Tony sighed.

"You'd better be." Pepper said, and hung up.

"I was under the impression we were going to Washington State." Loki said.

"One does not simply say no to Pepper." Tony sighed, checking the road was clear before swerving into a U-turn.

-O.O-

"Malibu!" Tony declared. "Part of California, and hunting capitol of America!"

"It's fucking _sunny_." Loki hissed, cringing away from the light even though his window was tinted and he was wrapped up in long clothes.

"It's California. Of course it's sunny. Sorry, I sort of forgot." Tony winced.

"Hunting capitol of the country. So, of course, you brought the fox here." Loki sighed.

Tony always noted Loki's tendency to call himself a fox whenever referencing other hunters, just because catching Loki had become somewhat of a challenge or sport.

"You're not a fox anymore." Tony said teasingly. "You're a beagle."

"Beagles are notoriously unintelligent." Loki said churlishly. "I think not. You may be a beagle, Tony, but I can aim higher than that."

"Hey, I'm not stupid!" Tony protested.

They bickered affectionately all the way to Stark Industries, pulling up outside the breezy building after a cruise through town.

Loki anxiously arranged his hat and gloves to keep himself safe as he climbed from the car and followed Tony into the building.

Pepper was standing in the foyer, looking decidedly unimpressed as Tony affectionately greeted her with a hug. She was a lot more impressed by his slender companion, who'd fixed his most charming smile on.

"Loki Laufeyson." Loki said. "My apologies for my distasteful conduct on the phone." Then instead of shaking it, he kissed the back of her hand, and Tony glowered at him.

"No, no... It's fine, really, it is." Pepper stuttered, unconsciously adjusting her hair.

Tony was especially irritated by the fact Loki was using his inexplicable accent as an offensive weapon. "Stop it. Both of you. It's sickening."

"Whatever was I doing, Tony?" Loki said innocently.

Pepper seemed to snap out of it. "First, where's Steve? And who's Loki?"

"Let's get into your office and I'll explain everything." Tony said.

-O.O-

"And I've figured out the missing piece." Pepper said once Tony was finished. "You two are sleeping together."

Loki, who had forsaken the formal chair and was in fact upside-down in an armchair, enjoying the shade, hair just brushing the ground, let his mouth curl in what was clearly amusement. "Well done, Miss Potts. Sherlockian piece of deduction."

"A vampire, Tony, seriously?" Pepper muttered across her desk.

Tony was playing with one of those perpetual motion gizmos. It was really pissing him off, how it wouldn't stop spinning. When Pepper spoke, he shrugged and said in the same quiet tone "He's not crazy."

"Vampires are renowned for their _excellent_ hearing." Loki said casually.

Pepper winced. "Sorry."

"A fox may hear the hounds bay." Loki said, disinterested to a fault.

"What?" Pepper said. "And Tony, you need to stay in town for a few days. Shake some hands and sign some papers, and then you're free to go and hunt vampires or sleep with vampires or whatever you do."

-O.O-

Tony wasn't about to do something ridiculous like actually get any work done that evening. Instead he dragged Loki out to a plain, bland suburban house to meet Bruce.

Bruce was Tony's confidante, and his main source of information. There weren't many things in Tony's head that Bruce didn't know too. Hell, they were best friends. Every oncewhile Tony would take a break from his life and just sit around with Bruce, drinking beer and committing acts of science.

Now was not one of those times. He had Loki with him, his friend/hunting partner/almost boyfriend, so what was there to do but go out and try to get Bruce laid?

When Tony went out, Loki generally didn't come. He couldn't eat or drink anything, and by nature he disliked most people anyway, never mind the meticulous scrub-teeth-then-entire-body-to-ensure-you-didn't-smell-like-blood routine. Plus the overwearing of cologne to cover up any bloody scents. Too much work to do something he didn't really enjoy in the first place.

On this night, Tony had managed to coax Loki into going with them, under the provision they didn't go to any bar frequented by hunters.

Loki was most certainly not helping with the quest to have Bruce get some. This was because the three most attractive girls in the bar were flocked around him like flamingoes.

Normally Tony got the girls, but he was more focused on Bruce and Loki had turned his surprising charm up to all new levels. They were hanging on his every word.

Tony wasn't sure if he was jealous. Well, he was, but he didn't know if he should fish Loki out or not.

His decision was made for him when one of the girls and Loki left. He then realised he should have fished Loki out.

But Loki came back after half an hour or so, looking rather pleased with himself. Then, when the other two girls tried to continue his conversation, he introduced them both to Bruce and told Tony he'd been waiting with that girl for her boyfriend to pick her up because she was scared of the dark, and he was heading back to Tony's house. Having already been there briefly, JARVIS, Tony's AI, would let him in.

One of the girls was all over the socially awkward yet perfectly adorkable Bruce, so Tony counted this as mission complete and headed home about an hour after Loki, wondering exactly what his vampire had been up to.

-O.O-

Tony was sitting in one of his living rooms, eating bacon and watching TV as he waited for Loki to get his pale ass out of the shower.

To his surprise, Loki had been more than keen for sex when he got home last night, pinning him against the front door and kissing him senseless, before they slowly made their way to Tony's room and Loki had him on his knees begging.

As said, more than keen.

But then there was breaking news and he had to stop remembering happy times.

A body had been found. Okay.

Near the bar they'd been at last night. Huh.

Bite marks on the throat and no blood in the body. _Shit._

And then they posted a photo of the victim, and it was the girl Loki had walked out with last night, and Tony's pulse was skyrocketing, because he'd trusted Loki and all the evidence pointed towards his partner having killed the bitch and oh no Loki was walking in wearing just a towel around his waist.

The news story replayed for impact, and Loki watched it all, brilliant green eyes wide and surprised, but he was a fantastic actor so Tony wasn't convinced.

"Was that you?" Tony asked bluntly.

"Wha- no! Tony, I would never! We have a deal!" Loki protested.

"I really want to believe that." Tony groaned. "But it's the same girl, Lo'."

"I stood there and her boyfriend picked her up!" Loki said angrily.

Tony had no idea what to say. He trusted Loki, he had to, but then all the evidence pointed the other way and...

Loki glared at Tony's apparent reluctance to believe him.. "Fine, then, _Stark._ I will prove it to you." He grabbed his gloves and hat from the front door, went and got dressed, and then stormed out without another word.


	2. Dance Little Liar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki shows off exactly why he's called Silvertongue. Namely, by talking his way out of yeah, everything.  
> And a healthy dose of luck never hurts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehe, this chapter was fun to write.  
> A note, for anyone who noticed it in the last chapter - JARVIS is still Tony's house AI, but since Tony has spent a lot less time at home in this AU than in canon, JARVIS isn't anything more than a house AI. He's not really a huge part of Tony's life like he is in canon.

Loki was pissed off, simple as that. He hadn't even known about the death until he saw it on the news! If he could catch the vampire that had done it, he could definitely make Tony realise he was innocent.

It took him until he'd retrieved his fake FBI badge and made it to the mortuary before he remembered that this was hunter town and therefore there were probably a few dozen other hunters on this trail. At least. And he didn't have Tony to tell people he wasn't a threat.

But he was already in the front door and smiling his best I'm-an-FBI-agent-now-show-me-the-corpse grin (he had one just for that) when he realised that. A bit late for backing out now.

There wasn't much to the body. It was, without a doubt, the same girl he'd been talking to last night. He'd found her dull and her makeup too thick. Now she was dead.

Not only was Loki a touch saddened, but the vampire part of him sulked as well - nothing to eat here, just already dead people.

In fact, there was nothing to be learned from the body. The usual tooth marks in the neck, no blood in the body. It was clean - suspiciously so. Not even the faint scent of the other vampire that Loki _should_ have been able to pick up.

Except there was this faint scent, far too subtle for humans to smell, almost stretching Loki's superhuman capabilities. Counterfeit perfume? Sulfur, maybe? It smelt more like her internal organs were starting to putrefy, except it was on her skin, not part of her. Who knows. It wasn't anything Loki could work with.

Fully aware that sniffing the corpse was a little fruity, he straightened up and looked around.

There were voices in the distance.

"Now, someone from your bureau is already here, are you sure-" The receptionist said.

"No, he said he wanted us to take a look." A deadly familiar voice replied.

Loki's heart would have been pounding if it could.

Steve.

And now they were closer, he could smell Clint and Natasha (he knew their last names now, Tony had told him).

Of the most assfucktastic of coincidences.

Nowhere to run. The receptionist expected him to be here.

But they couldn't kill him in front of her. He had a moment to talk.

True, they didn't want to piss off Tony by killing his partner, but they could always claim he was the rogue vampire and he came at them.

So Loki straightened his spine, put on his most charismatic smile, and waited for them to arrive.

Once the door opened, the receptionist gushing at Clint's and Steve's biceps, the three hunters froze and stared at Loki.

"Greetings." Loki said smoothly. "I am glad you made it here, I did ask you to take a look."

They gawked in disbelief. Even the receptionist sensed the odd atmosphere.

"Oh, come now, don't be so surprised. I thought you knew I had dyed my hair. Let Miss-" Loki indicated at the receptionist.

"Smallman."

"Miss Smallman get back to her work." There. Let it never be claimed Loki was a bad liar.

As soon as Miss Smallman had made it out the door, Loki subtly put his hand on his silver knife. His scimitar didn't quit fit in with the suit.

"Loki." Clint said stiffly.

"Apt observation." Loki replied.

"What are you doing here?" Natasha said threateningly.

"I assume, the same as you. Tracking a rogue vampire." Loki said.

"That's funny." Clint said. "'Cause the only rogue vamp I see is right in front of me."

"Ugh, use your imagination, Barton. If I was to start hunting humans again, rest assured I would pick a far safer place than _Malibu,_ for god's sake." Loki said exasperatedly.

"Where's Tony?" Steve asked worriedly.

"At his house, insofar as I am aware." Loki said. "So. I called you and asked you to 'take a look'?"

"We needed to get in." Steve replied.

Slyly, Loki had shifted the whole group around. He was now nearest the door, and they were on the other side of the examining table. He could make a break for it now. But good luck clearing his name if he did. "Convenient, I suppose." He bantered, looking to move the conversation to the negotiation of whether or not he was going to be murdered. "Who actually called you in?"

"Pepper." Clint deadpanned. "If you know who she is."

"Pepper?" Loki said in surprise. Why would Pepper call them? "Aha. Of course I know who she is; I have been enjoying Tony's hospitality."

"She seemed adamant." Steve replied. "What have you done with Tony?"

"Nothing!" Loki said. "I _told_ you, he is at his home, as far as I know. Do not assume that I have eaten his flesh and tossed him into a ditch simply because we are not permanently glued at the hip."

"So why isn't he here?" Natasha said, sensing a crack in the armour. "He's your partner, isn't he? Shouldn't you be working the case together?"

"I am gathering information." Loki said, keeping his voice steady.

"He thinks you did it, doesn't he?" Clint crowed. Something in Loki's face must have given him away, because Clint followed up with "He does! Hey, if Tony thinks it..."

"I did not kill her!" Loki snapped. "Unlike you urchins, I can keep my promises."

"He thinks you did it. Therefore, he's not on your side, and therefore, your head is ours." Natasha said seriously.

" _Why_ are you so determined to see me die?" Loki hissed.

"Because you've killed dozens of humans, you've done something to Tony, and you're a monster." Clint said.

"Yes, yes, I am the _monster_ that parents tell their children about at night! I have been told this time and time again! Did you ever consider, just perhaps, I did not _ask_ to be what I am?" Loki said angrily. "And how, pray tell, would I have 'done something' to Tony?"

"Uh-" Clint stuttered.

"Exactly. I'm hardly a demon. Making friends is not witchcraft or soul selling." Loki said.

"Still, your body count lies against you." Steve said, but he seemed less sure of himself.

"I am a hunter. Yes, for a few years, I did succumb to bloodlust, but I have since corrected my errors. Every life I have taken, I have saved another in exchange." Loki was feeling more confident about his ability to talk his way out now. "Of course, you are obligated by your duties as hunters to kill me, but for the sake of justice I would ask that if I can get someone to speak in my favour within the next few hours, you would release me into their charge."

"Not Tony." Natasha said. "If you've been doing  such amazing work, there's got to be someone else who'd speak for you."

Of course there was. A number of victims Loki had saved, a few people he'd gotten to know over the course of his hunts, plus Pepper and Bruce would probably vouch for him.

Nobody concrete. As far as family went - Odin never wanted to see him again, and Thor and Frigga thought he was just missing or maybe (probably) dead.

Haha. No help from that angle. So, play for time until he could either get Tony to fish him out or subtly convince Bruce to side with him.

"Very well," Loki replied. "I know just the person; in fact, I was meeting him in half an hour at Avengers' Bar. So you can do the whole meeting face to face."

"Really?" Steve said doubtfully. "You're not going to make a run for it?"

"In broad daylight?" Loki said with a bitter laugh. "Hardly. I'm not wearing sunscreen. I swear, on my honour-" Clint snorted. "-On my honour, I will not run. Take it as a sign of good faith; _I did not kill that girl_."

Apart from the fact he was going to the biggest hunter's bar in America to meet someone who wasn't there, the web of lies Loki had spun was working surprisingly well. Now he just needed to make it to the bar in one piece and figure out his next step.

-O.O-

Loki collected his hat and gloves as he was escorted - frog-marched - out of the mortuary. He was folded into the car - that had been Tony's, but Steve had taken it when he'd left - and sat complacently next to Clint. Acting agreeable was a big step towards them believing he was innocent.

Quite truthfully, he felt like he had committed the crime and was lying to get out of it. Now even his brain thought he was guilty.

The Avengers' Bar was the main place in the area for hunters to gather, and Loki had picked it for the odds that if Tony was anywhere, he was there, and if he wasn't, there was probably someone there who knew him or many friends of Tony who _hopefully_ wouldn't see their friend angry.

Either that or he'd walk in the door and be attacked by twenty people at once.

In that case, he would hide behind Steve. It wasn't a fantastic plan.

It didn't really matter that there were a lot of hunters in the bar; Team Free Steve were sticking so close that any escape attempt on Loki's part would be met with a swift cranioectomy.

Walking into the bar, eyes turned on Loki. First just one person recognised him, then another, until all the people he'd pissed off (six or seven or so) were glaring at him.

Loki just walked in like he wasn't Loki Laufeyson, troll extrodinaire, and sat down at the bar. Team Free Steve edgily followed him.

"So, where's your contact?" Steve said.

"He isn't here yet." Loki hissed, thinking fast. It wouldn't be that difficult to jump out the bar window, which he'd strategically sat near, but it would be forfeiting his claim to innocence.

" _Loki?!"_ A loud voice boomed in disbelief.

Whoever it was, they didn't sound angry, so Loki seized this opportunity. "Ah, here he is."

Then he turned around and gave his best roll-with-it smile to the man. His jaw dropped. _Thor?_

But hey, Loki was a quick adapter. "Thor, sweet brother of mine, come have a drink and explain to my dear friends here I have not been killing innocent women."

"Loki, how did you-" Thor was clearly still in shock. "I thought you dead."

"This is a conversation for another time," Loki said, looking over at Team Free Steve, who were pretty disbelieving too. They had all heard of Thor, and Clint had met him, but they never knew that Loki was the famous vampire hunter's brother. "Please tell the nice gentleman - and Natasha - that I have not been killing people."

"Have you?" Thor stuttered confusedly.

" _No._ " Loki said firmly.

Thor must have recognised the expression on Loki's face from younger years, because he believed him. "Clint, friend of mine, my brother Loki is innocent. Allow him to be set free." Clint looked pissed off, but nodded at Loki. "Loki, you must explain all this to me."

"In good time. Now, would you care to escort me somewhere a little less...Crowded? So we may finish this conversation." Loki said with a toothy grin.


	3. A Little Bit Of Chaos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki continues acting Lokish for a while, and then *plot*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait! I just restarted school and that jammed my thoughts like you wouldn't believe.

The last time Loki had seen Thor was back when he lived in Illinois, about eight years ago. Thor had stayed with him for a few days while on the trail of some shtriga on the move.

Then, seven months later, Loki had gotten the phone call from Odin that had turned him into the miserable _thing_ he was today. From Thor's comment ( _"I thought you dead."_ ) it wasn't an unfair leap of the imagination to say Odin had said Loki had been killed.

Loki and Thor hadn't always been peachy. The younger had taken a fair bit of shit from both Odin and Thor's friends for being, well, not exactly tough or a manly man or whatever. He fought with his brain and his words, and apparently that wasn't good enough. Thor had always been kind, but so woefully blind to Loki's suffering and so willing to please Odin that Loki had grown to dislike him too.

They'd cooled a bit once Loki had moved out and quit hunting, but the wall of resentment that had formed was still there somewhat.

Thor wanted to catch up, now, privately, so he marched Loki out of the Avengers' Bar and into the alley between it and the laundromat next door.

"What is this!?" Thor said seriously, pinning Loki to the alley wall.

"Oh, I missed you too." Loki chuckled, squirming to stay out of the sunlight since his hat had slipped.

"Brother, Father said you were dead. I believed it true. What happened to you?" Thor said.

"Did you mourn me?" Loki said mockingly. "Never mind that; Odin always was a slanderous bastard. Here I am, Thor, alive and well, despite the words of your _father._ "

"Do not speak of our father that way." Thor warned.

"Whyever not? He's not my father, anyway, Thor, any more than you are my brother." Loki scoffed. "Let go of me before I bite your hand off."

Thor reluctantly released Loki from the pinhold against the wall. Gods, he looked so _confused._ "If you do not explain this to me, Loki, so help me I will-"

"No need for violence." Loki said, grinning widely for effect before extending his fangs.

Thor flinched violently, jumping back and instinctively reaching for his silver knife. He seemed to remember who he was looking at and drew his hand back, but not before Loki had drawn his own blade.

"That's right, Thor, are you sickened by your _baby brother_ now?" Loki sneered after retracting his fangs. "Are you so shocked, now, that Odin told you I had passed on? He didn't want a _monster_ for a son, a foul, loathesome beast your family had hunted for generations."

"That is not true. Father would have wanted you either way." Thor said, still off balance from the recent revelation.

Loki laughed bitterly. "I'm not his son anyhow, Thor. It was fully within his rights to disown his _adopted_ child. Never you, his golden boy."

Thor took a moment to process all that, but when he did, he wrapped his huge arms around Loki and squeezed him into a bone-crunching hug. "You are still my brother." Thor said. "Regardless of what or who you are."

"Unhand me." Loki said, his sharp tone betrayed by a note of fondness. "I have much explaining to do."

-O.O-

Tony's morning had, obviously, started badly, what with his inability to say something even moderately useful as Loki had looked to him for reassurance.

He didn't believe Loki had done it, not really, but his shock had rendered him speechless.

And now he had to fulfil his promise to Pepper to actually work instead of finding Loki and apologising. He'd tried ringing the vampire, but Loki's phone was charging on Tony's bedside table.

Fantastic.

So he hoped that Loki would come back that night and went to work. Loki had taken the Valiant, but it wasn't like Tony didn't have several other, flashier cars.

Work was mundane. He had a lot of things to sign, basically, and he didn't even have the pleasure of having Pepper to talk to. In fact, apart from a brief appearance in the morning, he didn't see her once.

This seemed like a perfect excuse to go hunting her down in the mid-afternoon when he was well and truly bored.

He checked up in her office. No Peps. Hell, the whole building was clear of her. That meant he could skive off and go and find Loki.

-O.O-

Loki enjoyed his conversation with Thor, nestled in a booth in the bar a street over from the Avengers', feeling rather smug at how things had worked out.

Not for the reasons you're thinking. Not because they were brothers and loved each other or whatever. But because Loki liked to see him grow more and more emotional as Loki slightly exaggerated the story of the last eight years for maximum shock value.

Something Loki didn't actually say during his conversation with Thor was how self-aware he was now. He knew he was a douchebag. But he liked lying, and he was good at it, so follow your dreams, right?

Oddly enough, Thor disapproved of the one part Loki actually liked; meeting, sleeping with and consequently partnering with Tony. Apparently Tony had a reputation, which made Loki laugh.

"Oh, Thor, so do I. But I think mine is a little worse."

"That was by no fault of your own." Thor said gravely.

"Have you been listening to me?" Loki said indignantly. "Did any of that sound _innocent?_ Gods, Thor, your naivete has only grown in recent years."

"Uh-" Thor said, stuck for words. Trying to think of something, he gestured to his beer. "I am to get myself another. Would you care for anything?"

"Thor, if you forget again I cannot drink any of this, I will shove a bottlecap somewhere you do not want a bottlecap." Loki sighed.

Thor wordlessly got up and walked over to the bar. Loki took this as the perfect opportunity to take the phone he'd pickpocketed off Thor, type in the passcode (8467, so predictable) and send a quick text to Tony to say where he was. Then he deleted the message from the sent box and had it locked and lying on the floor under the table before Thor was back.

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Loki wriggled, found Thor's phone conveniently on the floor, and gave it back to him.

"You always were a tricky one." Thor laughed.

"I had nothing to do with it." Loki said innocently, widening his acid green eyes for effect.

"Of course not." Thor boomed affectionately. "Where are you staying?"

-O.O-

Tony felt like a teenage girl being texted by her crush when he got a text from Loki.

**At 'Enchantress' bar. Please save me from annoying people - L**

Aw yeah!

He was in his car and heading to the slighty seedy bar before he could think about it.

Okay, leaving his shiny uber-expensive car about was probably asking for something bad to happen. Nevertheless, he locked it and bolted indoors.

Spotting the dark head of hair and familiar pale face in the booth, he acted on impulse and snatched Loki up before kissing him soundly on the mouth. "Loki, I am so sorry. I know you didn't do it. I really do! Look, I would have brought you flowers, but that's a little cheesy-"

"Deep breaths, Tony. I will consider forgiving you later." Loki said bemusedly.

Thor coughed loudly.

"Ah, yes. Tony, this is my brother Thor. Thor, this is the ignorant oaf who thinks he is worthy of my forgiveness." Loki said sweetly.

"I apologise on a level that sends ripples through the universe. And hey, Thor. I've heard a lot about you. Please don't kill me." Tony said.

Thor went all fierce-protective for a moment before a look from Loki quelled him. "I am...glad you have brought my brother joy."

"Oh, you talk just like him." Tony grinned. "I've heard a lot about you. Kudos on that kill up in Wyoming."

"Many thanks." Thor said.

"Tony, dear," Loki murmured. "I think we should leave."

The vamp had a point. It was a bad idea to kiss another guy, particularly a rather effiminate one, in a place like the one they were in.

Amidst dirty looks (though all three of them looked tough, so they probably wouldn't have started too much of a fuss) (then again who knows) they sidled out of the bar.

"Where'd you put the Chrysler?" Tony asked, looking around.

"The morgue." Loki said without thinking.

Tony looked horrified.

"It is actually at the morgue. I parked it there." Loki clarified.

Tony breathed a sigh of relief. "I thought you'd killed the baby, honey."

"I may still. If you don't object, Thor and I could pick up the Chrysler and I will meet you at home." Loki said, hoping he could sadistically crush Thor's soul a tiny bit more before they parted.

-O.O-

Tony was driving home when he realised he had a voicemail.

Pepper! Yay! Maybe she'd be happy he had work done.

...She wanted him to come over to her house. What?

But seeing as he was skipping town again in a few days, he decided to indulge her, leaving a message for Loki with JARVIS saying that he and Thor could fend for themselves for a while and swinging his nice car around in an illegal U-turn.

Mistake.

-O.O-

Loki was a little pissed off that Tony wasn't at home, but he supposed he could try and keep himself entertained.

The Burisons were not poor. Let that be made clear. They were well-to-do. But Thor had never been in a home quite so extravagant as Tony's, what with it occupying a prime piece of real estate and sprawling over a wide area and _was that an original Picasso on the wall._

Actually, Loki hadn't seen much of it either. They explored the whole building, looking in every door when possible, occasionally stopped by JARVIS who said that while Loki was authorised to access, he wasn't authorised to give other people access.

At least Loki had access. Considering it was Tony's inner sanctum, Loki found himself rather flattered.

Tony was like that. He didn't really do extravagant romantic gestures or anything; in fact, he was terrible at them. It was just the little things that some might not notice but meant the world to him.

One of the reasons Loki liked Tony's company was because Tony didn't care what you technically _were_ ; he cared about what you could do with what you were. Tony didn't seem to care Loki was a vamp, but he did encourage Loki to use his powers for the good of humanity. Refreshing, to say the least, and for once in his life Loki was keeping his promises.

Another reason was Tony's intelligence. A smart conversation, finally! Something he hadn't had since university.

Also, Tony was good in bed and had no objections to being bitten. Ehehe.

-O.O-

Tony walked in the front door to Pepper's house. She hadn't answered the doorbell.

Actually, she'd been acting really weird all day. But it had definitely been her on the phone; Tony would recognise that voice anywhere.

By the time he'd sneaked down the hall to her living room, he was on full-blown hunter mode and clutching his silver knife, eyes flicking at every shadow.

That didn't help him.

Something crashed into him from behind, smashing him into the opposite wall and hurting everything.

Tony scrambled to his feet; his eye had dust in it, but his knife had to be somewhere, he couldn't have dropped it too far away, he'd find it in a second, meanwhile he had to keep his eyes - or eye - on what had hit him.

His fingers had wrapped around the blade, raising it to defend himself, when he saw his assailant.

"Pepper- what-" Tony gasped, trying to get ahold of the situation.

"Almost, Tony, m'boy." Pepper said, but it wasn't Pepper, that didn't sound like her, in fact it sounded like-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy your cliffhanger.  
> And comments would be *crying* beautiful.


	4. What Was I Saying?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obie - or Pepper, or whoever this bastard is - has a word with Tony, and Thor gets some food for thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little mention - this universe is the SPNvengers. It's 97% SPN, but there are a few tweaks I've made in the name of Marvel canon. So yeah. Don't panic, I (probably) know what I'm doing.

"Tony has taken some time." Loki said gravely, looking out the enormous windows at the glistening ocean.

"He is well, brother. I am certain." Thor said reassuringly. "Would you care to sit and speak with me?"

"It depends on your subject choice." Loki said coolly.

"Explain what you are to me." Thor said, and when Loki opened his mouth to say something caustic he elaborated. "So that I might understand you better."

"I am a vampire, Thor. You have hunted them all your life; I think you know enough." Loki replied, still not turning to look at him.

"I understand vampires." Thor replied. "What I want to learn more about is Loki Burison, my _brother_ , the vampire."

" _Laufeyson._ " Loki corrected.

"You will always be my brother, Loki." Thor said. "I want to know how you feel about this. So that we may reconnect like we used to."

"How I _feel?_ " Loki said in disbelief. "I hate it. I hate myself. Bloodlust is the most painful thing I have ever endured, and _there is no cure._ "

Right then, angry at existence but no blood or adrenaline pounding through him, wanting to attack Thor and sink fangs into his flesh, Loki did hate it.

And Thor looked sad, but also thoughtful, which was always a bad sign.

-O.O-

"Obie?" Tony spluttered.

"Very good, Tony, but you're not quite there." Obie/Pepper/ _it_ said, eyes temporarily washing over black for effect. "You killed him, remember? An innocent man."

"Shut up." Tony said, trying to remember the words for the exorcism. He usually used Steve or Loki for this, but he did know it.

Unfortunately the chance was taken from him when the demon flicked her/it's wrist and smacked his jaw together, cracking teeth and crunching his tongue. He tried to cry out and blood dribbled out of his mouth. _Shit._ He wasn't sure he could even talk now.

Another blow hit him in the side of the head. He was leaning on Pepper's armchair now just to stand, trying to get his thoughts together.

The impact to his head left him dazed as the demon tied him up with strong cords.

Wait, what? Why tie him up? Unless, shit. Tony didn't want to die, but he wanted to get tortured even less.

He couldn't move.

Panic started to set in. The anti-possession tattoo he'd had done years ago on his ass would stop the demon from possessing him - a luxury Pepper had not wanted to disfigure herself with - but that was really where the limitations for what happened to him ended.

Tony's jaw ached.

"Oh, good, you've got him all tied up for me." A sweet feminine voice said. "Well done, Skurge."

Tony dazedly turned his head to look at the newcomer.

His jaw would have dropped if it hadn't already been hanging slack.

He'd expected an ordinary human meat suit. This woman was tall, strong-looking, with glossy, curly blonde hair, perfect satiny skin and eyes that rivalled Loki's for the title of Greenest Green That Ever Greened.

She was wearing a downright indecent green shirt - if it could be called that - that made her breasts _very_ noticeable, and black tights with gold rings on them. The dress style would have been laughable if she hadn't looked so good.

Jesus.

Tony wanted to say something, but his tongue felt like a rubber block.

"Oo, pet, don't try to talk." The woman said, trailing one delicate finger along his bloody lips, bringing it to her mouth, and sucking it clean. "I don't think it'd go well."

Tony managed to garble something in protest.

"Just so you know, dearest, I do plan to wipe your memories after all this." She said with a teasing smile. "So it doesn't matter what I tell you."

She laughed playfully, and when she looked back, her eyes misted over white.

What the shit?

Tony thought. _What's a white-eyed demon?_

He tried to talk again. His tongue seemed a little more responsive. "Can you do thath?"

"Of course I can." She said with that horribly sweet smile. "I'm head bitch."

Tony said nothing, just glared at her acidly, and she elaborated. "The name's Amora, and this is Skurge. I have a little plan I'm working on."

"Thuck you." Tony said.

"Someone's going to." Amora said with a wicked grin. "But you'll hear about that later."

"Whath!?" Tony said. "Who the thuck _aa_ you?"

"Like I said, Mr Stark, I'm the big boss." She chuckled. "Now, all I want you to do is sit there and bleed a bit. The Burison brothers need time to talk it out without your pretty little face in the way."

" _Leathe Loki alone!"_ Tony said with surprising viciousness.

Amora backhanded him with enough force to render him incable of speech again. "Shut it, you little cunt. I told you to sit there and bleed."

-O.O-

Thor had this...this _look_ on his face.

Loki knew that look well. It was the look that meant Thor thought he had a great idea and by anyone else's standards the idea was terrible.

"Thor, what are you thinking of doing?" Loki said tetchily from the opposite couch to the one his 'brother' was occupying.

"Nothing." Thor said quickly.

"You are one of the most transparent liars I have ever met." Loki sighed.

Thor now looked wholly stubborn and resistant. "I have much to dwell on."

Well, only one topic was wedged in Thor's brain: how to help Loki.

-O.O-

"Villains always like to do these long rambles when their plans are coming to fruition." Amora said. "Now, I'm no villain, but I am bored enough to monologue."

Tony was listening now, despite the ringing pain in his head and the fact there was a decent chance his jaw was dislocated.

She said she would wipe my memories somehow. But maybe if I concentrate really hard on all this, try cross-association, I'll be able to hold on and warn Lo'lo,

Tony thought.

"See, our father is a brilliant creature." Amora said cheerfully. "I was his first child, his most beloved. And I want him back."

"We all do." Skurge said cheerily.

Okay, Tony was a little lost. They were talking about the Devil, right? Who lived in hell? Shit, he needed to pick up a bible or whatever. He really wanted to say more, but he actually physically couldn't.

"Anyway, a buddy of mine found out how to get the big daddy out!" Amora said gleefully. "Lots of things to do, and the first one involves your precious Burison brothers. So they need to have a little chat, and I don't need you in the way.

"Sadly," She continued with a theatrical sigh. "Little sis is still stuck in hell torturing damned souls and whatnot, so she can't help, but at least that _cretin_ Malekith is helping. And the first bit went great, despite the fact that this _asshole-_ " She motioned at Skurge. "Rang the wrong person."

"I could not reach Thor, so I-" Skurge protested.

"Shut up. At least Malekith isn't quite as stupid as you."

Who? What? Demons had family? _What the fuck is going on?_

"Lady." Skurge said. "Might I-"

"For fuck's sake, Skurge, no you can't go find your normal body. I want you in this Potts bitch so when Tony here loses his memories she doesn't remind him." Amora said sharply.

Tony was developing a headache completely independent of the several blows to the skull he'd taken. Listening to every word, he tried to ingrain it in his mind so he couldn't forget it.

-O.O-

"JARVIS, do you know where Tony is?" Loki asked finally.

"No, sir. His phone seems to be off the grid." JARVIS replied.

"Forget sitting here playing nice." Loki hissed at Thor. "I will find Tony, and I will find him now."

"Brother-" Thor warned.

"Tony means more to me than you with ever know, Thor." Loki said determinedly, snatching his scimitar, gloves and hat and getting ready to move out. "If there is the slightest chance he needs my help, I am there. Either come or do not."

"I will come." Thor said. "Perhaps Tony is a greater man than I know."

"Doubtlessly." Loki replied in a hurry, taking the curving stairwell to Tony's workshop and garage.

Diving into the Chrysler, Loki started the car and was already ready to go by the time Thor got himself together and got in the front seat.

As previously stated, as Loki was Tony's boyfriend, the Chrysler was their baby. The whole thing had been lovingly fixed and upgraded by Tony; the boot was kitted with weaponry and equipment, the engine kept in perfect running order, the terrible suspension refitted to give a smoother ride.

Driving down from Tony's enormous home, Loki rang JARVIS and got Pepper's address. Thor was far more familiar with the area, so he helped Loki get there.

They had turned down the road before Pepper's, and were making their way there, when Tony's silver convertible passed them.

Loki honked the horn - custom, it played the first three notes of the chorus of Back In Black - and Tony stopped and pulled over.

-O.O-

Tony felt rough. As in, a weekend in Vegas with absinthe and LSD rough. His jaw ached, but it was mobile - Amora had relocated his jaw, painfully, not that he remembered - and the numerous blows to his head were making him see double.

He couldn't remember what had happened. All he knew was that he needed to get away and he needed to tell Loki something. So he piled into his car and drove off, not sure if he was aiming for home or a hospital. His phone only started working once he'd made it a hundred metres away from Pepper's house.

A car honked at him. Maybe he was driving a tad erratically. Okay, he was driving a little badly.

Another car honked. He recognised those three notes, and pulled over.

Loki moved with his supernatural speed and clutched Tony's face as soon as he saw him with his night vision. "Tony! What happened! What did this?"

Tony thought. His head ached. "I - I don't know."

"Pardon?" Loki said as Thor reached them. "How do you not know? Was it a monster? Should we return to Pepper's?"

"No!" Tony said, suddenly gripped with horror at returning there. "I don't remember. I don't. But we can't go back there."

Loki looked genuinely concerned. "Do you need the hospital?" He said, as he traced Tony's bloody jaw. "You've bitten your tongue, and your mandible is badly bruised."

"Uh, yes, no, maybe?" Tony said. "Loki, I really needed to tell you something, but I forgot..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case of confusion, basically, Amora is Lilith, Malekith is Azazel, and Lorelei is Alastair. Yes, poor Alastair got genderbent.


	5. The Plot Thickens Somewhat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spider Loki uses his web, and Labrador Thor makes a bad decision. Doesn't matter, had sex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo! Second to last chapter! If you're wondering about the length, why they're so short, it's because each multi-chapter fic is supposed to match up to an episode or two of SPN. So they're all related, and there's quite a few more before the big finish = D

Loki knew something was going on.

He'd always been shrewd, to put it mildly, and he trusted his instincts more than anything else.

Take a rogue vampire that left no trace and also somehow manages to stay alive in the hunting capitol of America, Tony refusing to go back to Pepper's after having the shit beaten out of him and remembering nothing, Thor's eyes twinkling with one of his stupid plans, and the fact that Team Free Steve existed, and Loki was on high alert for bullshit.

All the potential bullshit in the world didn't change the fact that Loki needed to eat, so after Loki took Tony to the hospital and made sure he was safe there he went hunting a ways out of town so he wouldn't be attacked.

The whole vampire-human dynamic was paining Loki. If Loki was ever hurt, then Tony would be offering his arm or neck or wherever so Loki could heal quick. Reverse the roles, and all Loki could do was offer first aid.

-O.O-

After his hunt Loki sat with Tony at the hospital as painkillers were handed out and reflexes were tested. Despite what had clearly been a good head-rattling by whatever had gotten Tony, he was less injured than Loki had thought.

Several hours after Loki had returned, Tony was allowed to leave hospital under the condition that Loki alerted any unusual behaviour, so Loki drove him home and promised to get Thor to pick up Tony's car in the morning.

Thor himself had left just before Loki got back from his hunt, telling Tony he had something he needed to do.

Loki was getting alerts from his bullshit sensor for that too. He really wanted to know what Thor was up to.

Oddly enough, despite their tumultuous relationship, Loki did trust Thor, if only because the idea of disloyalty rarely occurred to him. But he didn't trust Thor's brain to come up with anything _resembling_ a good idea - that was best left to Loki, the smarter of the pair.

It was probably time to call in a few favours. Loki wanted whatever was going on - be it a string of weird occurrences or something much more sinister - dragged out into the sunlight where all could see it.

Not that Loki liked sunlight.

But whatever.

So Loki drove Tony home, carried him easily to bed, and told JARVIS to keep Tony awake through any means possible for the next half an hour while he made some phone calls.

See, Loki needed some stuff done, and while he'd much prefer to do it himself, there wasn't a chance in hell he was going to leave Tony alone.

He borrowed Tony's phone to do it; it was a much more reassuring name to see on Caller ID.

"Tony?" Steve said when he picked up. "What's going on? Why are you calling at-" A pause "-Five in the morning?"

"You were awake, Rogers, so it hardly matters." Loki said. Steve started to ask more, but Loki cut him off. "Tony and I need your help. Tony has been injured - never fear, it is nothing permanent, but he shall be staying in bed for the day - and I wish for someone to figure out what happened while I care for him."

"Uh, yeah, I guess so." Steve said dumbly.

"Not _I guess so._ " Loki growled. "I saved your life in Hoople, Rogers, never mind your ridiculous personal vendetta against my existence. Today I ask of you a simple task, and I expect you to do it, or does your pathetic concept of _morality_ not apply to anyone except those you deem worthy?"

"Um-"

"Excellent, so it is settled." Loki deadpanned. "I need you to go to Pepper Potts' home - preferably armed - and discover precisely what dis- and then relocated Tony's jaw, gave him a concussion, and cracked a rear molar. I have no idea as to Miss Potts' fate, but I can imagine it is not pleasant."

"Gosh!" Steve said.

"Say fuck or shit or god. Gosh is for children." Loki hissed. "Call this phone when you've investigated."

Then he disconnected.

Next port of call was Clint and Natasha. "Tony?" Clint said blearily.

"Sleeping a little late for a hunter, are you not?" Loki said critically.

"Loki? What have you done to Tony?" Clint said, snapping more awake.

"I killed him, ate his favourite t-shirt and then immediately called you to tell you about it." Loki said sarcastically. "Remove your head from the vicinity of your ass. I need to repay you on the fact you unlawfully tried to behead me."

"I don't feel like I owe you anything. I failed, didn't I?" Clint said.

"It hardly matters; what I want you to do is for the good of one Thor Burison, not for myself, and should you not do anything for a fellow hunter?" Loki said. When Clint didn't reply Loki said "I need you to follow Thor and find out what idiotic plan he's devised for himself now."

"That doesn't sound very innocent." Clint said dubiously.

"Believe me when I say it is for his own good. He is my brother, and I know him well enough to know that he has a foolish and possibly harmful idea in his head, and little I say could dissuade him." Loki sighed. "This is no wicked plot. For once I say sincerely I am acting out of the goodness of my heart."

Clint snorted. "Sure, whatever. Natasha and I'll do it, but one _hint_ of something funny and-"

"Blah blah blah. Call this phone when you find him. He's currently on his way out of town. For some unintelligent reason the GPS on his phone is on, so you should be able to track him, unless you actually are as dumb as you look."

Then he hung up when Clint spluttered something.

Walking back to Tony's room, he found the man sitting exhaustedly in bed. Loki stripped off, showered, and climbed into bed with him.

"What mischief have you been making?" Tony said fondly.

"Not a whole lot." Loki smiled. "For now, you should rest. Hopefully we will hear soon from my emmisaries."

"You know what, I probably don't want to know." Tony snorted, pulling Loki to his side. "I'm glad I have painkillers. Otherwise the stitch in my tongue would _probably_ stop me from talking."

"And what a _tragedy_ that would be." Loki said dryly.

-O.O-

Steve was the first person to reach the place Loki had directed him to.

Everything looked normal to the extent it was almost sinister. So he snatched a shotgun, loaded it with one salt-shot and one standard shot, and tucked his silver knife into his belt. Hopefully nobody would notice him stepping in to the house well-armed at this hour of the morning.

He'd been to Pepper's house before; they got along rather well and tended to share stories on looking after Tony. Not that he'd seen her in the few months since he and Tony had split, though this was hardly unusual for hunters,  seeing as they lived life on the road.

Knife at the ready, Steve prowled the house. All seemed normal until he made it to the living room. Then there was smashed furniture and spots of blood on the floor and voices from the next room.

One was Pepper's; the other was a strong, harsh feminine voice who sounded unpleasant.

Never able to resist helping a damsel in distress, Steve kicked the door in and aimed his shotgun at the woman.

She looked rather unimpressed.

"One of the Burisons' grunts, I assume?" She said disinterestedly.

Then she smiled wickedly as she obviously sensed something he couldn't and vanished, along with Pepper.

After waiting a minute, shotgun ready to fire, Steve concluded they weren't coming back. He took his phone out of his pocket and called Tony.

"Salutations." Loki said mockingly. "What news do you have?"

"There's definitely been something strange going on here." Steve said. "There were two women here; Pepper and a blonde woman I didn't recognise. They vanished, though. I don't know where. But from what I can tell, this is where Tony was. There's blood on the floor and lots of broken things."

"Ah, thank you, Rogers. I have another incoming call." Loki said before disconnecting with a _click._

-O.O-

Clint and Natasha had driven at absolutely top speed to follow Thor. Loki had been right; the GPS tracker on his phone was active and he was easy to trace.

They eventually found Thor in a national park, a long way from the proverbial beaten track, parked at a dirt crossroads. Instead of approaching, which would probably be wisest, they'd hidden in the bushes as silently as possible to catch a glimpse of the lie of the land.

He was crouched in the dead centre of the crossroads, and as he stood up, Clint saw what he'd been doing - there was a little mound of dirt in the centre that suggested something had been buried there.

"That dickwad's making a demon deal!" Clint hissed to Natasha, who rolled her eyes in a _yes, I know_ gesture.

"The question is, do we interfere?" Natasha murmured, but the choice was taken away when the demon suddenly appeared.

It usually took longer than that. Maybe there'd been someone on callout. Maybe they'd get a free pizza.

The demon herself was tall and blonde and dressed _extremely_ provocatively.

Clint slid his phone from his pocket and quickly dialed Tony's phone.

Put on Call Waiting. Fucks' sakes!

Then Loki answered. "Hm? Where is he, Barton?"

In the middle of the crossroads, Amora suddenly felt both the presence of two humans hiding in the bushes on the side of the road, and the waves coming from a telephone call. She intercepted it, turning the phone off and making in spark in Clint's ear. He cried out in pain, quietly enough that Thor didn't hear it.

"Shall we negotiate the terms...elsewhere?" She said sweetly to Thor.

Thor, unsure of himself now his plan was actually coming to fruition, nodded dumbly.

Amora easily teleported the pair of them away to a messy hotel room as Clint and Natasha watched.

The demon had knocked out Natasha's phone, too, so they needed to get to town and get their spares fast. Having moved out in a hurry, they'd only taken the two with them.

Shit fuck.

-O.O-

The terms ended up being fairly simple.

Thor's soul, to be collected in a year, for Loki's return to humanity. Loki would be 100% human, and his age would be reset to 25 like it had been before he changed. Free to drink absinthe and sleep through the night and have those two minute noodles that were likely harming you.

Thor just wanted his brother happy.

He'd figured out pretty quickly that the demon he was dealing with was not the ordinary - her misty white eyes gave her away rather quickly. However, she'd reassured him with a honeyed tone that it made little difference, seeing as she was still a deal-making demon, and maybe she'd poured on a little bit of reality warping to make him believe her. Who needed to know. She could only really do it in the littler doses anyway.

The deal was settled.

"Time to seal it!" She trilled, feeling warm and fuzzy inside her twisted soul that her plan was working.

He closed his eyes, pretending this wasn't happening, and pecked her on the mouth.

Amora laughed at him. "Silly goose. I'm not your average crossroads demon. I require a little _more_ than just a kiss."

Then she may have twisted Thor's perception a bit as she claimed his mouth forcefully and shoved him onto the bed. But no one had to know.


	6. The Road So Far

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the end of this adventure, but can anyone say they're happy with the outcome?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a 'happy' ending. Ngehehe.
> 
> Next piece in the series is the two-chapter 'Got No Salvation' and will be up soonish. Watch either the FrostIron tag or my page for updates if you care haha.

Loki must have dozed off while waiting for Clint and Natasha to call back.

Coming back to consciousness, he realised both that Tony wasn't there and that vampires don't doze.

He then realised that the burning in his chest was his lungs straining for air and the pounding in his ears was his heart telling him to breathe now.

For the first time in 7 years, Loki opened his mouth and took a deep, necessary breath.

_What._

Not being a moron, Loki could put the pieces together.

_Thor you bitch I am going to cut you._

The phone was ringing and Loki realised it was dark, the windows still opaque, and he couldn't see what he was reaching for.

He could see darkness! (How oxymoronic, but Loki didn't care)

It felt so _strange._

The phone. Right.

"Hello?" Loki said, enjoying the way his warm (warm!) skin heated the plastic casing of the phone.

"That was a weirdly nice greeting. You okay?" Clint sounded wary, but continued. "Listen, we were trying to get a hold of you, but Thor summoned a crossroads demon and it knocked out our phones, he's going to make a deal, hell, he probably alre-"

"I know." Loki interrupted quietly. "The effects of said deal are making themselves known."

"So." Clint thought that over. "You're a human, I guess."

"Hole in one, Mr Barton." Loki said in the same quiet voice.

"Shouldn't you be out celebrating? Getting plastered? Having sex with Tony?" Clint teased.

"I don't know quite what to make of it yet." Loki replied.

"Happy is a good start, considering what Thor's probably given up." Clint said dryly. "Look, I'm going to go find him - I can track him again now I've got another phone - so you look after Tony and try and pull yourself together so you can _thank_ your brother for this. Lord knows I wouldn't have done what he did for you." Then he hung up.

"JARVIS, could you call Tony up here?" Loki said in the same oddly calm voice. "He needs to be made aware of this."

Then he snatched his toothbrush and scrubbed his teeth until all he could taste was mint.

Pepper still needed finding, and from what Steve said, exorcising. Thor needed his ass kicked for making that deal. And Loki needed to get his shit together.

Tony walked into the room holding a plate of toast, one of the few things he was capable of making without destruction.

Feeling like he hadn't eaten for years (which was accurate enough, he supposed) Loki snatched a piece of toast and stuffed it into his mouth. It tasted terrible with the toothpaste, but he didn't care. It was bread, not flesh.

Tony's jaw dropped. "Loki?"

"Thor did it." Loki said after swallowing the toast. "I am human."

Tony looked thoughtful. "And how do you feel about that?"

Thank you. This is why Loki adored Tony.

"I do not know." Loki said faintly. "He should not have done it. Not without consulting me."

"Well, I don't think there's anything we can do about it, so I guess we just celebrate?" Tony reassured, seeing how upset Loki was by this development.

Loki pulled Tony into a tight hug and buried his face in the shorter man's shoulder. "I don't know what to do."

"Shhh. S'okay. What we can do _right now_ is get in the shower and stop you smelling like an abbatoir. Then we find Thor, exorcise Peps, and see where we go from there." Tony said soothingly, putting down his toast and leading him to the bathroom.

Loki saw the truth in that. His actions for the next day were limited. Finding Thor was a lessened priority, but it was still just that - having made his deal, in theory he would be left alone - and Loki already knew that Pepper was either dead or possessed (she knew too much) so he didn't have much hope.

That was, until he could find the cunt of a demon that had made the deal with Thor in the first place and talk shop.

So Loki was led to the shower, and the pair of them got undressed, and Tony scrubbed the smell of blood from every pore on Loki's body - and for once the scent left, instead of weirdly replenishing no matter how much cleaning was done - and Loki let Tony take him in the shower, a rare occurrence because Loki usually topped, and Loki wanted to cry because Tony and Thor cared for him so much and he didn't deserve it.

Then they dried off and got dressed. Loki picked a thin v-neck shirt, because this was the first time he'd had sun on his skin in a long while.

Time to see Thor.

-O.O-

Thor was at the motel he'd been staying in. Clint and Natasha were there. Everyone froze when Loki walked in.

"Loki." Thor said, almost reverently, seeing the sunlight play across his exposed clavicle with no negative effects.

"Thor." Loki replied quietly. "What did you sacrifice for this?"

Years of knowing the other far too well gave Loki his answer anyway, so the ex-vampire continued. "Why?"

"Because you are my brother, Loki." Thor said, and didn't that just sum up the last 32 years of Loki's life?

-O.O-

They didn't find Pepper. Loki hadn't expected to. Getting her back alive and demon-free was a narrow chance, because as Steve could confirm, she'd been rolling with the demon that Thor could confirm had made the deal. So Pepper knew too much.

Her house and office were empty, and they filed something in Missing Persons just in case.

But really, chances were slim.

After discussion, everyone knew what the white-eyed demon looked like, but none of them knew her name or where she'd come from. Ringing Bruce, while pleasant in the name of catching up, was fruitless.

"Here we are then." Tony mock-saluted with a glass of beer, sighing resignedly as they sat around a table in the Avengers' bar. "The people of the Avengers'. Well done us."

Loki could mirror that feeling. He drained his glass of bourbon - first alcohol for a long time - and let out a sigh.

-O.O-

Loki returned home early from that trip - Tony had more of a social flair than he did - and showered, getting ready for bed. His human self tired more quickly than _notmynormalself_ his vampire self.

He'd just lain down in bed when it happened.

Loki was paralyzed by something he couldn't see, completely unable to do anything except breathe and pump blood, and there was someone in the room with him. Terror gripped him.

"Loki Laufeyson." A sharp female voice said. "I'm the demon that made that deal with your brother. You know the one. See, I'm a nice demon, and I know Thor didn't ask you first, so if at any time you're not happy with your end of the bargain, just drop a box in a crossroads. Then we'll discuss terms."

 _I'mnothappywithit._ Loki wondered why she was telling him this. But he couldn't ask.

"Call me!" The demon said cheerily, releasing Loki as she vanished.

When Tony got home, Loki didn't mention a thing to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments would be lovely. It actually does encourage me to write faster.


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